Hi! You're here because you've been linked here by my Twitch channel, regarding my username! Probably. Thanks for taking the time to read this overly-wordy explanation and I hope I've made things clear.

So I've changed my Twitch name to LancetheUglyAndrogyne! And I know you're probably wondering why I'm choosing to go out of my way to call myself ugly on Twitch of all platforms, but I want to do some housekeeping before I get into it:

First of all, I prefer she/her(s) pronouns!

Second of all, nothing I state here is meant to invalidate the experience or identities of trans, non-binary, or gender-non-conforming people. You're all beautiful, valid, and amazing. What I'm describing is my thoughts on myself and making a little commentary on who gets celebrated or ignored on platforms.

At the time I'm writing this, I'm not using a face cam, but I'm planning to in future, so you'll just have to take my word for it:

I am not an attractive individual. My husband disagrees, and I love him for it. But as far as conventional beauty standards go, I tick none of the boxes. I am obese, but not in a pretty hourglass way that still gives me a skinny face. I have polycystic ovarian syndrom, or PCOS, which results in a hormonal imbalance that has ripple effects in my body that result in me being fat like a man, with a pot belly. I have not been gifted with fat girl boobs. I also am readily able to grow facial hair, and routinely have a better goatee going than my husband. Though I do try to shave this in public, depression sometimes means I don't have the energy to care.

Together, these aspects paint a very GNC picture. Depending on how I dress, when I had shorter hair, I have been mistaken for a man in public before. Until I start talking, anyway.

So I want you to think of androgynous people, and what comes to mind? Anne Hathaway in a suit and pixie cut? Janelle Monae in a suit? Tilda Swinton? Jonathan Van Ness? Adorable 20-somethings with short hair, glasses, and nose piercings posting selfies to tumblr? None of that is me, a soon-to-be 35 year old fatty with an endocrine condition.

I am not the kind of androgynous that gets rewarded with attention and clout on social media, or with cash to desperately-needed crowdfunding campaigns when crises strike. I'm super glad that people are able to get the help they need. However, one can't help but feel under-valued in comparison.

So, I call myself ugly for several reasons. Primarily, because it's objectively true. And if you feel the need to assure me that I'm not, I appreciate it, but please do so only once. Further insistence will cause me to question your motives. Secondly, and probably more importantly, if I call myself ugly then when dumbasses come along to try to troll me by calling me ugly or pointing out I'm fat, I can only commend their reading skills and make them look stupid.

If you made it here, thanks! Yes, comments are disabled because I don't want to make people make an account here, and I can't take anon comments in good faith. Hit me up on Discord at Lance#1159 and we can discuss the particulars if you're not just out to try to convince me of some touchy-feely "no one is ugly" stuff. I know you mean well, but I'm not interested. Also the usual boundaries still apply, no hitting on me. But hopefully I don't need to tell you that. I'd also be happy to discuss other particulars I discuss here.

Thank you again for everything, and have a great one!